Is Riley here?
Red Alert! Boy Boy Boy Boy
[Riley’s First Date? scrolls]
There’s a BOY in my house.
I knew she was going skating but I thought it was with her friends.
Why is there a BOY in my house?
This isn’t a date….Is it? I’ll ask Riley.
I don’t like this.
This can’t be a date – she’s only 12!
Let’s probe. But…..layer it with cool words that the kids say – so it’s not obvious.
So – what’s the dealio? Jordan. OMG – he is awesome sauce. Fo’ shizzie!
Did she just say ‘fo shizzie’?
I don’t understand – what’s happening?
Ugh. This is just embarrassing. I can’t. I can’t.
I know what you’re doing here Jordan. You don’t think that I know what you know, but I know – you little punk!
He’s not good enough for Riley. No one is!
Go back to jail!
What are you looking for Jordan? Something to steal?
Like our daughter!
Should we say something?
No no no. He’ll be expecting that. Give him the silent treatment. He’s about to crack – I can feel it.
Sir – no response!
Two can play at your mind games Jordan – INTIMIDATE!
Huh…What’s he lookin at?
Probably you’re dumb hat! Hahahahaha
Sir – intimidation is failing!
Increase the pressure – engage!
So – Jordan, what do you like to do – for fun?
I don’t know – stuff.
Sir that sounds like backtalk.
That’s it – he’s outta here. Give him the BOOT.
Yes sir. Launching boot.
On my mark – in five….four…..three….
Oh – I play in a band – that’s fun.
Wait. We were in a band.
I was in a band. Lead guitar.
Cool – I rock bass.
We played a lot of…
My favorite band is…
Mom – eww. It’s not a date. We’re going skating with a group of friends.
Oh – fun! That’ll be off the hook. Lol.
Stop talking like that!
Wait – where’s Jordan???
Did you leave Jordan with DAD?? This is so embarrassing!
Riley – your father would never do anything…..
Bye mom! Bye dad!
Peace out my hommies.
Ya know? Jordan’s a good kid.
You’re not so bad yourself.
Sir – the wife has initiated contact…whatta we do?
This is our chance – give her ‘the look’.
[gasp] He’s making that stupid face again.
Uggh. Should we smack him?
Come on – he’s adorable.
There’s the signal.
We are go. Repeat. We are go.
Contact in five…..four….three….two…..