Man: He's here. I assume one of you is the father.
Chandler: That's me.
Joey: I'm him.
Chandler: Actually, uh, ahem, we're both the father.
Chandler: Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy.
Chandler: Please tell me you know which one is our baby.
Joey: That one has ducks on his T-shirt and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks. Or clowns. Oh, wait. That one's Ben! Remember he had that cute little mole by his mouth!
Chandler: Hey, Ben! Remember us? Okay, the mole came off. - What are we gonna do?
Joey: We'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns.
Chandler: Flip for the baby?
Joey: You got a better idea?
Chandler: All right, call it in the air.
Chandler: Heads, it is.
Chandler: We have to assign heads to something!
Joey: Right! Okay. Okay, uh... Ducks is heads because ducks have heads.
Chandler: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?
Monica: My little nephew. Come here, little one! Oh. There's my little baby, Ben! Hey, my little boy. Oh. Hey, he's not crying!
Chandler: Hey, he's not crying!
Joey: Yes. There's still pie! Ha-ha-ha.
Ross: I'm here. I'm here. Uh. How's my little boy, huh? You want Daddy to change your diaper? I know, I know. Did you have fun with, uh, Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
Joey: Oh, yeah. He rode the bus today.
Ross: Big boy riding the bus... Hey, I have a question. How come it says, "Property of Human ervices"?
Chandler: You... You are gonna love this.
Ross: Can you hold Ben for a sec? Come here. Come here.
Chandler: Stay back! I've got kiwi! Run, Joey, run!
Woman: Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Phoebe: No, no. I'm sorry, it's, ahem: Smelly cat, smelly cat
Woman: Smelly cat, smelly cat
Phoebe: Much better. Good. Don't feel bad, because it's a hard song.
Phoebe: You want to try it again?
Woman: From the top?
Phoebe: There is no "top," all right? That's the beauty of "Smelly Cat. " Why don't you just follow me?
Together: Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault
Phoebe: That's too much. Sorry.