The next night, I took her out to this little bistro in Brooklyn.
Wow. That is one bad-ass blue French horn.
Yeah. Sort of looks like a Smurf penis.
Son, a piece of advice. When you go on a first date, you really don't want to say Smurf penis. Girls
don't ordinarily like that. But this was no ordinary girl.
How long have you been sitting there? Stupid eye patch.
Mom, Dad, I have found the future Mrs. Ted Mosby. Marshall, how have I always described my perfect woman?
Let's see. She likes dogs?
I've got five dogs.
She drinks Scotch?
I love a Scotch that's old enough to order its own Scotch.
Can quote obscure lines from Ghostbusters?
'Ray, when someone asks you if you're a God, you say, 'Yes!''
And I'm saving the best for last.
Do you want these? I hate olives.
She hates olives. Awesome!
The Olive Theory.
The Olive Theory is based on my friends, Marshall and Lily. He hates olives, she loves them. And in a weird
way, that's what makes them such a great couple. Perfect balance.
You know, I've had a jar of olives just sitting in my fridge forever.
I could take them off your hands.
They're all yours.
Oh, it is on! It is on till the break of dawn.
But, wait, it's only the break of 10:30. What happened?
I gotta get one of those blue French horns for over my fireplace. It's gotta be blue, it's gotta be French.
No green clarinet?
Come on, no purple tuba?
It's a Smurf penis or no dice.
There you are! We got a jumper. Some crazy guy on the Manhattan Bridge. Come on, you're covering it.
All right, I'll be right there. I'm sorry. I had a really great time tonight.
Yeah, well. So, did you kiss her?
No, the moment wasn't right. Look, this woman could actually be my future wife. I want our first kiss to be
Oh, Ted, that is so sweet. So, you chickened out like a little bitch.
What? I did not chicken out.