Chandler, Phoebe and Rachel look for the Christmas gifts that Monica has hidden.
[n] - noun, [v] - verb, [phv] - phrasal verb, [adj] - adjective, [exp] - expression
Chandler: Let me ask you, why is everybody using these tiny lights nowadays? I remember when people used to use big lights.
Rachel: That’s a good story, Grandpa.
Ross: Wow, Monica’s letting other people help decorate her tree! Did someone get her drunk again or?
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. It’s about being with the people that you love.
Phoebe: That is nice and we’re done. TADA!
Chandler: I dunno what it is, it just doesn’t quite feel like Christmas to me.
Monica: Oh, here.
Chandler: See now it feels like Christmas!
Rachel: Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, I’m right here.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why don’t you take a walk? This doesn’t concern you.
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Chandler: What? That’s terrible!
Phoebe: No-no, we do it every year!
Chandler: Oh well, that makes it not terrible.
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! She’s always best at us that wily minx.
Rachel: Don’t worry, we’re just gonna search here for an hour, them we’re gonna go over to Joey’s and search, OK?
Chandler: No not okay, you can’t look for Monica’s presents!
Phoebe: But we have to!
Chandler: No, you don’t have to, and you can’t because I live here too.
Phoebe: Well then, you should look with us.
Rachel: Chandler, aren’t you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Phoebe: Oh, that’s it? (Mimics Chandler) A great idea!
Rachel: Chandler, that’s not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you’ve just gotten her one great present? I mean that’s just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: If I help, we can find them faster!
Rachel: That’s right!
Phoebe: Ooh ooh, we have a live one!
Rachel: Oh, it’s a Macey’s bag!
Phoebe: Ooh, who’s it for?
Rachel: Dear losers, do you really think I’d hide presents under the couch? P.S. Chandler, I knew they’d break you.
Phoebe: Uh-oh. She may be onto us.
Rachel: We are so gonna find them this year.
Chandler: Y’know when you guys said you were gonna go across the hall and look, you don’t, you don’t do that every year do you?
Chandler: You don’t, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
Phoebe and Rachel: No, we never do that
Chandler: Because that’s where Joey gave me some stuff to store that I’ve never seen before in my life! Okay, that did not just happen!
Rachel: Hey, this is hollow.
Rachel: This bench, it’s hollow! I can’t believe I never knew that! Oh, the presents!!!
Phoebe: No, don’t look directly at them!
Phoebe: Alright, no, we could look at them!
Rachel: Oh, this one’s for me!
Phoebe: Oh, this one’s for Chandler. Here.
Chandler: Oh great!
Phoebe: And the big one’s for me!
Rachel: Ooh, let’s open them!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Okay!
Phoebe: Hee hee!
Chandler: Wait, we can’t do this.
Phoebe and Rachel: Why?
Chandler: I don’t wanna know what Monica got me. Y’know? I mean, look, I’m sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Rachel: Whatever Linus, I’m opening mine.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I don’t know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monica’s face when I give her my present, and I’m sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Phoebe: Will you get us better gifts?
Monica: Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?
Chandler: That’s what you got me?
Phoebe: Oh yes, I see what you mean. That look is priceless.