Man: He's here. I'm assuming one of you is the father.

Chandler: That's me.

Joey: I'm him.

Chandler: Actually, uh, ahem, we're both the father.



Chandler: Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy.

Chandler: Please tell me you know which one is our baby.

Joey: That one has ducks on his T-shirt and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks. Or clowns. Oh, wait. That one's definitely Ben! Remember? He had that cute little mole by his mouth!

Chandler: Yeah?

Joey: Yeah.

Chandler: Hey, Ben! Remember us? Okay, the mole came off. What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?

Joey: We'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns.

Chandler: Oh? We're gonna flip for the baby?

Joey: You got a better idea?

Chandler: All right, call it in the air.

Joey: Heads.

Chandler: Heads, it is.

Joey: Yes.

Chandler: We have to assign heads to something!

Joey: Right! Okay. Okay, uh... Ducks is heads because ducks have heads.

Chandler: What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?



Monica: My little nephew. Come here, little one! Oh. There's my little baby, Ben! Hey, my little boy. Oh. Hey, he's not crying!

Chandler: Hey, he's not crying!

Joey: Yes. There's still pie! Ha-ha-ha.

Ross: I'm here. I'm here. Uh. How's my little boy, huh? You want daddy to change your diaper? I know, I know. So, did you have fun with, uh, Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?

Joey: Oh, yeah. He rode the bus today.

Ross: Big boy riding the bus... Hey, I have a question. How come it says, "Property of Human Services" on his butt?

Chandler: You... You are gonna love this.

Ross: Can you hold Ben for a sec? Come here. Come here.

Chandler: Stay back! I've got kiwi! Run, Joey, run!



Woman: Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?

Phoebe: No, no. I'm sorry, it's, ahem: Smelly cat, smelly cat...

Woman: Smelly cat, smelly cat...

Phoebe: Better!

Woman: Yeah?

Phoebe: Much better. Good. Don't feel bad because it's a hard song.

Woman: Yeah.

Phoebe: You want to try it again?

Woman: From the top?

Phoebe: There is no "top," all right? That's the beauty of Smelly Cat. Why don't you just follow me?

Together: Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault.

Phoebe: Too much. Sorry.